Jokes

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. 13373 views

  • Posts: 496
  • Liked: 0
  • Thanks Given: 0
  • Received: 0

Coz everyone needs some fun in their life haha

What's a donkey crossed with a fish called?


A sea horse 

Made me chuckle :grins:

mav469

  • Ashley
  • Global Moderator
  • Posts: 2,311
  • Liked: 509
  • Thanks Given: 41
  • Received: 328

Reply #1

would it not be a sea donkey ??


 :undecided:

AngelSophia

  • Posts: 496
  • Liked: 0
  • Thanks Given: 0
  • Received: 0

Reply #2

Well according to mike yes :p but they don't exist do they?

HK_Fuey

  • Graeme
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 6,511
  • Liked: 1911
  • Thanks Given: 497
  • Received: 1584
  • Location: Newcastle
  • Tank Thread: https://reefbase.co.uk/members'-tanks-6/graeme's-6x2x2-840l/

Reply #3

Urban dictionary:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sea%20donkey

sea donkey
A human female resemblant of a sea cow(aka manatee), but with a face far less smooth or attractive, being more like that of a donkey or other equine familiar. It is a miracle of nature that these women are land-dwelling, rather than living in the ocean, considering the frame-stress resultant of their girth would be far better supported in an aquatic environment.
Damn! Look at that sea donkey eat! Keep her away from children or someone could lose a finger!
Have we helped you? Want to help the site keep on running? Donate to the running of ReefBase

AngelSophia

  • Posts: 496
  • Liked: 0
  • Thanks Given: 0
  • Received: 0

Reply #4

Hahahha pictures? 

HK_Fuey

  • Graeme
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 6,511
  • Liked: 1911
  • Thanks Given: 497
  • Received: 1584
  • Location: Newcastle
  • Tank Thread: https://reefbase.co.uk/members'-tanks-6/graeme's-6x2x2-840l/

Reply #5

Have we helped you? Want to help the site keep on running? Donate to the running of ReefBase

mav469

  • Ashley
  • Global Moderator
  • Posts: 2,311
  • Liked: 509
  • Thanks Given: 41
  • Received: 328

Reply #6

I remember a donkey joke from a while back. Bit long winded but can't be worse than the sea donkey :p.

Guy walks into a bar with his retarded friend and says to the barman I'll have a pint and my friend donkey will have a coke.

5 minutes later the same guy approaches the barman and says. Can I have a packets of crisps salt and vinegar for me and cheese and onion for donkey.

The gentlemen then leaves to go to the toilet. Feeling uncomfortable the barman says how come your friends with this guy. He is horrible. Nick naming you donkey isn't nice, I think you should stand up to him. How did you get the nick name donkey ?. At which point the guy replies "eee oorrr,ee oorrr, eee oorrrlways calls me that.

Mike

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 8,638
  • Liked: 1984
  • Thanks Given: 697
  • Received: 1219
  • Location: Manchester
  • Tank Thread: https://reefbase.co.uk/members'-tanks-6/i-conica's-tank-(picture-heavy!)/

Reply #7

Bit of a long one, but funny... :)


Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Shamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky. Shamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan, Cheers!" They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Shamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin'me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub.
towards the running costs of ReefBase

HK_Fuey

  • Graeme
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 6,511
  • Liked: 1911
  • Thanks Given: 497
  • Received: 1584
  • Location: Newcastle
  • Tank Thread: https://reefbase.co.uk/members'-tanks-6/graeme's-6x2x2-840l/

Reply #8

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ten tickles
Have we helped you? Want to help the site keep on running? Donate to the running of ReefBase

Mike

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 8,638
  • Liked: 1984
  • Thanks Given: 697
  • Received: 1219
  • Location: Manchester
  • Tank Thread: https://reefbase.co.uk/members'-tanks-6/i-conica's-tank-(picture-heavy!)/

Reply #9

An old one, but still good...

A German approaches a prostitute. "I vish to buy sex viz you."
"OK," says the girl, "I charge 20 an hour."
"..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky."
"No problem," she replies, "I can do that." So they go to the girl's place, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
"I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your hans und knees." The girl finds this odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said.
"Now you vill get on your hans und knees." She does this, balancing on the springs.
"please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you." She finds it odd, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying.)
She finds the sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to speak. "What do you call that position?"
He says: "It's the four-sprung duck technique."
towards the running costs of ReefBase

T-Bone Tyrone

  • Global Moderator
  • Posts: 3,660
  • Liked: 612
  • Thanks Given: 521
  • Received: 299
  • I wonder where this shows up?!
  • Location: Ammanford

Reply #10

I don't know what to say! it kinda lets me down and makes me smile all at the same time! it's like Tim Vines one liners!
I might be back....

T-Bone Tyrone

  • Global Moderator
  • Posts: 3,660
  • Liked: 612
  • Thanks Given: 521
  • Received: 299
  • I wonder where this shows up?!
  • Location: Ammanford

Reply #11

Why did the baker have brown fingers?
.
.
.
.
.
Beacuase he kneaded a poo!
I might be back....

Mike

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 8,638
  • Liked: 1984
  • Thanks Given: 697
  • Received: 1219
  • Location: Manchester
  • Tank Thread: https://reefbase.co.uk/members'-tanks-6/i-conica's-tank-(picture-heavy!)/

Reply #12

"Phones 4U" is changing its name to "P45s 4US"
towards the running costs of ReefBase

mav469

  • Ashley
  • Global Moderator
  • Posts: 2,311
  • Liked: 509
  • Thanks Given: 41
  • Received: 328

Reply #13

3 reasons why Katie price called her child bunny

1 - she's forever fucking like a rabbit, as was her husband behind her back.

2 - it came  out of a MASSIVE burrow

3 - (don't read this if your easily offended) she needed some meat to join the vegetable at home.

T-Bone Tyrone

  • Global Moderator
  • Posts: 3,660
  • Liked: 612
  • Thanks Given: 521
  • Received: 299
  • I wonder where this shows up?!
  • Location: Ammanford

Reply #14

^all yours Ash? I like it!
I might be back....

Tags:


Related Topics

7 Replies
876 Views
Last post Dec 2, 2014 10:58:45 pm
by carlcall